Does anyone else ever talk back to recipes while preparing them?

For instance, while making eggplant and smoked gouda open faced sandwiches, one might say, "Gourmet magazine, what the heck is your problem? Why on earth would you specify an 8 oz piece of smoked mozzarella in the ingredient list and then direct me to 'reserv[e] [half] for another use.'?? How hard is it to say 4 ounces! You'll need 4 ounces of cheese!

And what's with the eggplant wasting? You want me to take two slices out of the center of an eggplant and discard the rest? Do you not realize there are children starving in Africa? Also, there is no way I am putting white wine vinegar or parsley in with this tomato. What kind of flavor does that bring to the party? What? Okay, yes, I have been watching too much Good Eats lately. You're right, I will never discuss bringing flavor to any party ever again. That's a terrible phrase. But I'm still using balsamic and basil. I hate parsley, and my basil is growing like crazy."
In the end, though, it was a pretty good sandwich.